I had gotten to the final interview with two other companies, and they both hired another individual, citing the fact that I had no sales experience on my resume. Being a creative person, I contacted a friend I knew that owned a juice company, and asked if I could include on my resume that I had sold for him. With that added information, I nabbed this job.

Unknowingly, I have always been in sales. From the time I was six and pleaded with my father to buy me a horse, I have been asking for, wanting something, listening for that ever sweeter “Yes”. Because I was effective then (I begged for a horse from my sixth to my ninth birthday, never giving up, finally getting the required prize in the form of Sam, my first horse who cost $185 and was a sixteen hand sorrel with flaxen mane and tail.)

I took from that first major yes that changed my life, that I could do ANYTHING. In the face of immense criticism, horrible objections (a horse will wreck our fences, I prayed for the days horses were off this farm and you want to bring them back again, why don’t you just race go-karts with your brother?). So everyday, I planned, schemed, and strategized to fulfill my desire. It seemed impossible; my dad was relentless with his no. Yet, my desire continued.

I look at this time as the biggest gift I was given in my youth. I learned not from my Dad saying yes, but from all those years that he said no, that if I continued on with my quest, was laser focused, whatever it was in life that I wanted would become mine.

It has been that way ever since, with perhaps the exception of a few men. I have acquired everything I have ever quested for. A third degree Black belt in Tae Kwon Do, two reserve-world championships with my horses in Western Riding, and many thousands of small goals along the way, from the perfect 100 needed on the final to score an A in animal science, to continuing to create art while faceting a corporate career.

When my cousin and I were in 4h, selling the obligatory candy bars, we drove into the neighboring town and went door-to-door selling them, having a selling dozens of boxes more than the other 4her’s.

Then there was the sorority in college, modeling the amazing fun behavior of a group of women so intensely that others wanted to be part of it too- having parties to convince them of this fact. Finding out objections to why they wouldn’t join and changing those into a yes.

I even joined a group called “dairy club”, and took it from 9 members to over a hundred: a group that had raucous parties because we had so much money from our amazing fundraisers. We did everything from trimming cattle for local farmers to bringing a cow on campus, and having a “guess the weight” contest where the winner got a keg of beer. It was genius: the students learned more about dairy cattle and had fun in the process. I learned from those giddy days in college that anything was possible, and the crazier the idea just meant the more fun it was to carry out. I would be out at a bar, get a few drinks in me, and start selling everyone I met on the advantages to joining the dairy club. The enrollment went up to 186, and at the Ag Banquet where all agriculture groups attended, well, the whole of dairy club could be found in the bar, not the banquet room. Luckily our professor-sponsor knew we were having good clean fun, and went along with everything. That is the thing about thinking out of the box- it helps to be supported by someone who sees your vision, or at the very least believes in you, so it doesn’t matter that they don’t understand totally.

Coming from the farm, where I milked cows for 7 hours a day while also going to high school and dating, college away from home held long, luxijurious breaks of time from my prior schedule. I couldn’t have that! Plus everything looked so wonderfully interesting, and there I was with time on my hands. I got permission (as a first semester freshman) to take an overload of 21credits. I didn’t end my expansion there. I also pledged a sorority, went out for the dairy judging team and made it, was hired to teach dairy judging at the college level, took a very prestigious job as student secretary for the dean of agriculture, and was elected vice-president of my dorm floor.

When I showed up drunk (after a pledge exchange where a Frat made us do a scavenger hunt for bottles of wine, and we had to drink each one before we could look for the next one) at a dorm floor meeting, my report was asked for and I was passed out on the heater. After that incident, I overheard other dorm dwellers, taking bets that I was going to drop out, or more precisely, flunk out. When the grades came in, and I had a 3.5, while my long-suffering roommate who didn’t go out or join anything the whole semester received a 3.53. After that, my dorm mates didn’t much talk to me. Seemed it was a buzz kill to be so much more adequate than most others.

I sold my major professor when I was getting my Masters at Tucson that I could both bartend and waitress, work the Research assistantship I had, and still get straight A’s. I knew I could, because I had been bartending and waitresses behind his back already.

Sales are that spark, that excitement that says: “it doesn’t have to be that way”. That there is something better, there are CHOICES. Don’t get me wrong, I fall on the side of the “Creators” not those who “make money off of the creators”. Now, for the first time however I see that sales is really creating too: it is coming up with a better way, an new way of seeing things, expanding a belief about what is possible. For customers that are slugging thru their dreary day, a good salesperson brings in the magic, the joy of a happy interlude, a way to create something better, and the rock solid friendship of one that truly cares about the customers.

That was another lesson I learned in sales, to truly care about the people that I interact with.

From early on, I knew the rules could be bent if not outright broken. I knew I was special, that I could do more than most, was brighter, shinier than most. I come alive while working with creating, and that spark feeds my art, my ideas, and my sales. It also gives me a life that is fun, enjoyable and creates growth.

Most of us think of a purpose as what we do for a living, for work, for money. Many want to know SPECIFICALLY what it is we came to do: for example: “am I to be a radiation oncologist? Or should I be a newspaper reporter?” Unfortunately for these people, God never seems to be that definitive.

We have God within. The statement Jesus made, “all I can do, you can do and more” is true. The reality with that is that we have to believe that to even play in that playground. If you are an eagle hanging around with sparrows, you may not realize that you have greater capabilities than the sparrows. If we think we only have a black crayon and a grey crayon, we won’t be painting with all the colors there are in a rainbow carton of crayons.

So follow me here. With God within, we are capable of immense creation. We are equals with our creator even. Because of that, God would never tell us what to do, never insult us to say: “you need to fit in that square peg, regardless of what your feelings are.”

Instead, he gives us talents, passions, raw materials of creation, and says: “Surprise me.” So when a person’s purpose comes thru, it is declared, as “you are to be a teacher”. Or my purpose, which I have known for quite sometime, is that I am “to be a messenger”.

How that purpose expresses itself is up to me. I can play as large or as small as I want to. What I mean by this, is that I can give a message to the person I am standing with in line at the bank, or I can write international articles about what my message is. Some of that has to go with how safe I feel: if I feel I will succeed at a state or national level. If I feel supported, I feel more comfortable stepping onto the full time messenger stage. And God, well he says, “surprise me.”

One of the issues my clients have with this type of purpose does not give as clear of direction as they would like. I can feel them want to be relieved of the responsibility of the decision of what they should do with their life. That might even be why organized religion is so much more popular than spirituality in many ages. Organized religion gives you teachings, a book, something you can turn to besides your own inner yearnings.

Yet nothing satisfies those inner yearnings, allows you to sleep at night, brings you the breath, the joy and the ecstasies that being own your own path. Because the only thing that will satisfy our souls is that we are out in that environment.

“Ships are safe in the harbor, but that is not what ships are built for”

So get started, unfurl those sails. Grab that big box of crayons. Color outside the lines. In fact, color off the paper. Make your life the glorious miracle it is meant to be. And when it is scary, don’t look down. Remember, you’re an eagle. You know how to fly; you just need to believe you can.

This is a BIG responsibility, and many of us try to give the power of decisions over to others. That is why there are so many dictatorships, cults and leaders. For me, being raised by a father that nothing was “his fault”, I resisted going into experiences that put a giant burden of responsibility on my shoulders, like being a doctor or a veterinarian (my brother told me why do you want to be a vet- you are always working with someone else’s animals, and if they die it is always your fault). In my younger years, I did not want to bear that burden.

What I have come to realize now is that we come for a purpose in this world. My purpose is to be a messenger, and many times a teacher. To stand up in the world and say the truth as it is shown to me. No matter what I chose as my employment, my career, well, the purpose does not change. In fact, God allows us to paint on a BIG canvas, saying: “I gave you this task, how you execute it is up to you.” That makes it a harder road, the fact that we have to make choices that the canvas is given to us fairly empty, and the theme and colors are up to us.

The next big truth of the Universe that is a building block for reality is that there really are only two states in the world: love or fear, the light or darkness. The universe, the spiritual source, God, if you will is light. The absence of source is darkness. A big comfort to me is that there is no source of darkness. A statement that gives me intense peace is that the light shines under the door. Darkness does not pervade the light, light pervades into darkness. If you turn your face to the light, you will not see the shadows. That’s what I ask for my clients and myself. That’s what I try to do every day. Sometimes I succeed, and I can do it more now than previously.

With working with thousands of clients, I have come to the belief that WE make our reality by our thought forms and actions, and that if we change those thought forms, we change our lives. That to create a reality we WANT, what we merely have to do is say, “I am…..” and think of it for more than 17 seconds (information from Ester & Jerry Hicks). That is how I received my connections with the angels and guides, I meditated 15 minutes every day with the thought, “I hear my guides loudly and clearly” and after 3 months, I heard them.

Some days I forget or I think screw it, I’m going to be a negative thinker. There’s a quote: you cannot afford the luxury of a negative thought. My life has gotten more that way, because I’m such an empath. Also because I have been hoisting around stuff in my psyche to make the pathway more clear and quicker for manifestation. So it follows that when I’m in a negative mood, blackness manifests rather quickly, too. Usually when I get in a bad mood, everyone around me is in a bad mood. Then things don’t work out well and people are snappy and bad things happen to me and I know it’s because I’m getting back what I’m giving and I need to chill. So as far as the negative going out from just a stray thought running across my head, it’s been less.

We create and walk into our future. I want to leave you with an image of the light. This has been something that’s taken my fear away when the “choose love” mantra may not. Simply: there is a source of light. WE are all light. I KNOW this because one night I woke up and I did not see my body. All I could see was light where it was supposed to be. I threw the covers over me and the light shown through the covers.

I told both my intuitive instructors about the experience, to which they responded: “we’re all light.” somebody says we’re all light, I have a different standard and a different experience of that then I had ten years previous. I know it is true. We are the source of light. Fear and all those emotions it creates, lives in darkness.

“I think it’s about forgiveness, even if, even if, you don’t love me anymore.” Don Henley

There are so many reasons why we do not forgive. Old loves that are gone seem closer if we hold onto the hurt they left us with. If we forgive them, we let go of them, and sometimes we aren’t ready to do that.

Few medical doctors would admit to a diseased heart being caused by a broken heart. In my work with people, I find many who are actually dying with congestive heart failure because they have not forgiven someone or something. The heart is a muscle, and if it isn’t exercised both physically and emotionally, it can get out of shape, harden, and no longer work well enough to sustain our bodies. It is important to remember that here on planet earth we live in a world of duality, where there is good and evil, light and dark, big and small, broken hearts and broken blood vessels. Statements that define exact opposites very well could be different parts of the same elephant. To me it is comforting to accept this, and realize there is another place higher above, where the very things that seem opposite of each other are parts of the same whole.

When we don’t forgive someone, it hardens a part of us. It also ties us to the moment when this incident happened, which becomes the past. Having struggled with the subject of forgiveness for years, it isn’t a popular way to handle things in our present culture. This is the age of revenge, of getting even. The number of patients with heart disease correspond with burgeoning accuracy. The heart is a muscle to be exercised, to be worked out just like your bicep muscle. When you don’t forgive, the heart contracts, and stays there. Not forgiving connects the heart to fear, anger, bitterness and revenge. Past eras in the United States have handled forgiving and letting go in more gracefully and healthier way than we do today.

When Bobby Kennedy was assassinated in the 60’s, his family immediately forgave his killer, knowing that if they didn’t, the man would have killed more than just Bobby. The family grieved, openly forgave, and moved into the present moment. They knew it would be a travesty to Bobby’s life’s work to go on a revenge hunt. No one had more of a reason to be full of vengeful hatred than the Kennedy’s, yet they forgave, and in that forgiving healed themselves and the nation.

When a horrible thing happens to us, we always have a choice. Many people think that they don’t, perhaps because the choices are a long shot, or not palatable or they are driven totally by their emotions. However, you ALWAYS have a choice. That is why we are here: to experience free will, which means making choices.

Your choice includes how you think, but also how you feel about the incident. Whether or not to stay in that moment for the next 50 years, or let go of it, cut your losses. Do not allow the incident to take one more drop of time, energy, emotion or future. For that is absolutely what unforgiveness does, it steals the future from you.

Forgiveness is not about the other person: it is about you. It is you saying that you care so little about the other person you will never think of them again. Think about that statement. In fact, do what I did, MEMORIZE that statement.

If you are holding a grudge- think about it now. Think of all the time you have spent thinking about the issue, being angry, thinking about getting back at the person, evening the score, what exactly the score entails. Now, realize that is time you will never get back. It is time you could have used to create something; to take a friend, spouse or child for a walk or to the zoo, time that you could have spent LIVING in the present moment instead of stewing about the past. Because that is what every unforgiveness is about: THE PAST. We carry it into the future in our minds.

A newly announced intuitive, I was at a drugstore one day picking up a prescription. The pharmacy tech was visibly upset, so I asked her what was wrong. She replied that her mother was in the hospital diagnosed with congestive heart failure, and only a few days to live.

I said I was sorry to hear of her woes, and I hoped for the best for her mother. I then left the pharmacy, and walked towards the store exit. Halfway down an aisle, I got received a download. All of a sudden I knew about the woman and her mother. I went back to the pharmacy and told the woman to call me, that I had information for her.
We spoke for three hours that night. Debbie’s spirit guides were lively, pushy, and concrete. Her mother needed to forgive someone that was why she was in heart failure.

I then learned that Debbie’s brother had been murdered, and that her mother had never forgiven the murderer. The guides said this is why her mother’s heart was failing; it had hardened from lack of forgiveness. Debbie was told she had to go to the hospital and convince her mother to drop all her grievances and forgive everyone in her life, especially the murderer.

Debbie had never stood up to her mother, and was in no hurry to change. The guides blatantly stated that if Debbie did not do this for her mother, she might as well stay at home the rest of her life in the Barrcolounger eating Cheetos. If she didn’t stand up to her mother now, she would never do anything of consequence. I felt like an incredibly mean thug, channeling information I myself would never say out loud. Debbie was a crying, sobbing, mess when we got off the phone, and I felt like a heel. (I always say what the guides say pretty much verbatim, because I don’t KNOW what they are talking about enough to edit it, and the fact that they work with God lets me give them the benefit of the doubt. The exception to this is when I am shown graphic videos: most of the time I see no need to pass them on blow by blow).

For the next two weeks I didn’t see Debbie. I wouldn’t have blamed her if she didn’t talk to me again, the session was that rough. Amazingly, when I did see her, she was beaming.

“My mother went home the day after I talked to her about forgiving” Debbie told me, “and she has gone from death’s door, with congestive heart failure class 4, to a class 2. Her forgiving led the way to a magical recovery”.
Debbie stayed home and cried the whole day after we talked, then she got up her nerve and talked to her mom. The results impacted both of their lives significantly and permanently.

Debbie’s mom is still going strong, seven years later. Debbie’s mother was my first client saved by forgiving, but not the last. Many clients have had heart disease, only to see it magically get better when they forgive and turn the evidence of the situation over to God.

This where seeing an intuitive instead of a therapist is a far better choice. An intuitive channels your guides, so knows what your situation is & how you feel about it. The therapist asks to see you for 6 months to find out about your situation, then ASKS you how you feel about it. A therapist can & will talk about your issues ad nausea. But a difference in your life is made only when you turn your attitudes, emotions and the situation over to God, asking him to take it from you & replace where it was with the love & light of God.

“You are so powerful, you can chose bondage if you wish” Abraham, as channeled thru Ester Hicks, “Ask & it is Given

This brings up a very important point. We co-create our reality. So- if we believe we are in charge of our lives, that we are victims and incidents happen TO us instead of THRU us, then that will be what we see. Again, we fragment and disconnect from the true reality, the cause and affect of the universe, and that energy comes back to us seemingly random, like a car accident or being attacked by a mugger. Now that I have accepted that life is cause & effect, I see it everyday functioning in my life. I know the freedom from turning an incident over to God, and letting go of judgment. My believe is that we are not here on earth to judge ourselves or others, and that is an action best left to God. I have had incidents in my life that have affected me greatly, and I turn them over to God, without judging the people involved, only to look at them later and not have the anger or emotion.

What is your idea about yourself? What is the grandest version of the greatest vision you ever had about Who You Are? Conversations with God constantly invites us to create that. Once you decide specifically what that is, then you know what you are doing here, and you will find yourself doing other things less and less. Create a context within which to live your life. Give yourself a purpose, a meaning. Give yourself a mission. Call yourself something! Just call yourself something. Call yourself “brave” or call yourself “kind”. Call yourself “smart” or “wealthy”. Or call yourself all of it, and more. Whatever you call yourself, you call forth for yourself. What you call yourself calls to you and you will fly to it like a moth to flame. What you call yourself, you call forth for yourself. What you call yourself, calls to you. – Neil Donald Walsh Questions and Answers on Conversations with God